2015: My Year Without Makeup

I am not wearing makeup in 2015.

There. I’ve said it.

As mentioned in my previous (and first) blog post, I have made some resolutions for 2015. Now I’ve had my fair share of resolutions being mere good-intentions-never-realised but I’m hoping that by publicising this particular resolution, you’ll help keep me accountable.

I have made this resolution because it finally dawned on me the other day that I have been lying to myself. I’ll tell you how this epiphany came about:

Husband (H): “We’re going to be late if we don’t leave now. What are you doing?”
Me: “Just finishing makeup. I’ll be done in 2 minutes.”
[10 minutes later, Husband walks into the bathroom and watches me as I’m still applying makeup.]
H: “You know what, I can barely tell the difference. I think you look better without makeup anyway. And we’d be on time if you didn’t put it on.”

My first reaction to this was to turn to him in a defensive huff and tell him off for distracting me, thereby making us even later. My second reaction was to fix the mascara that I accidentally applied to my cheek when I turned. It wasn’t until I got into the car and had calmed down enough after flurrying around the house that I could think more clearly about what H had said and had my third reaction: reluctant acceptance and agreement.

I think it’s true that unless you’re wearing a Kardashian-load of makeup (can you tell I just made up that unit of measurement?), most guys cannot even tell if you’re wearing makeup. In fact, I think when everyday makeup is applied correctly, it’s meant to give the illusion that you look “this good” naturally. Which then makes us think that we have to keep wearing makeup to literally keep up appearances or else you get that dreaded response on that one day you don’t have time for makeup from a guy who is stupid socially unaware and says, “Are you sick?”, to which you kind of have to reply, “Oh no, I’m fine, I just forgot my face. I mean, makeup.” This kind of experience doesn’t help. But what really causes damage is the countless marketing campaigns by the “beauty” industry (better named as the “you’re-only-beautiful-if-you-buy-this industry”) feeding on our insecurities and basically telling us we’re all lacking because we’re not skinny enough, not tanned enough (if you’re in Western countries), not white enough (if you’re in Asian countries), our eyebrows aren’t the right shape, our eyelashes are too short and straight, our pimples/freckles/wrinkles/eyebags are too obvious, etc. that have led me to BUY into the lie that nothing about us physically is right and we need to pay through the nose for products to make us attractive or even remotely acceptable to society. I say ‘buy’ because not only does makeup cost a lot of money, but it costs a lot in self-esteem. It does for me, anyway.

And yes, I know, I know. Makeup can be a fun way to express yourself and there’s nothing wrong with that (express away!) but I can’t be the only one who puts on makeup to make herself feel better. And I’m tired of it. Tired of constantly feeling inadequate and tired of thinking that I need something externally to give me my worth.

I find it quite interesting that Merriam-Webster defines ‘makeup’ as follows:

make·up

noun \ˈmā-ˌkəp\

: the way in which something is put together or arranged
: the physical, mental, and moral character of a person
: substances (such as lipstick or powder) used to make someone’s face look more attractive

Although I know that true, lasting beauty is based on character and a love of God, I still contradict myself in thinking that I still need X or Y physically to be beautiful, that the third definition of ‘makeup’ above somehow eclipses the second definition. When my husband tells me that I am more beautiful without makeup I think he’s just being a “good husband” and I don’t really believe him, even though I know my husband and, more importantly, God accept and love me how I am physically and they are both so much more concerned with how I think and act and love.

So along with committing to praying for a change of heart and mindset that is more Jesus-focussed and not self-focussed, I have decided to not wear makeup in 2015 in the hope that I will no longer be reliant on makeup but on God to make me beautiful where it really counts and to also give me more time in the morning for the important stuff (e.g. the bible reading I’ve been neglecting).

To be honest, I’ve been slowly ‘weaning off’ makeup towards the end of 2014 due to my growing dissatisfaction with my attachment to makeup, so this resolution isn’t as hard as it could have been. Nevertheless, I still find myself looking at the mirror while I brush my teeth and think “my eyes could be bigger” or “if only I could use concealer on that pimple or scar” so I know I still have a way to go before I can look in the mirror and 100% accept my natural face, or better yet, get to the stage where I don’t even care about looking into the mirror because there are so many other things in life more worthy of my attention and energy. I’ll let you know how I go throughout the year.